GLADE GESSELL
CANDIDATE FOR L.A. CITY COUNCIL
TARGET
ENTERPRISES
MODEL A
MODEL B
13th DISTRICT
Enforce neighborhood security. Attract new quality business to Hollywood.
Equal representation for all groups in the 13th District. Improve L.A. Zoo conditions.
• Create and relate neighborhood parks to current needs.
A FRIEND TO THE COMMUNITY
100% White Cotton "T" Shirts with black screening. HOW TO ORDER:
1. Select size-S, M, L or XL.
2. One side only, $4.50 plus 50c handling and postage.
3. Two sides, $5.50 plus 50c handling and postage.
(Calif. res. add 6% sales tax)
Please send me.
with model
"Tee" shirts size.
-on back. ($5.00 ea.)
and with model.
Lón front.
(front & back $6.00 ea.)
Name.
Address.
City.
State.
Zip.
Enclose CHECK, CASH, or MONEY ORDER. (no C.O.D.'s)
To: Target Enterprises
221 West,"F" Street
San Diego, California 92101
can you make the
3988-18th STREET 861-1310
OPEN 8 AM
MISTAKE?
LEATHER-WESTERN
FOR SALE
MEN'S HAIRSTYLING SHOP
3 private booths with an extra room. Very elegant. Good business in the West Holly-
$12,000.
wood area on Santa Monica Boulevard. Low rent. Owner's interest in different business.
For more information call: (213) 656-9249
REMEMBER?
WHEN YOUR WAIST WAS SLIM...
House of St. James
-REDUCING LOTION-
LOSE INCHES...WHILE WATCHING YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES! (415) 421-1787, 209 Post St., 1202 SAN FRANCISCO 94108 Beverly Sunset Medical Center 9201 Sunset Boulevard, Suite 718 WEST HOLLYWOOD 90069 (Dial 411 for new phone number)
DON'T BE
BALD ANYMORE.
HE WOLD MAN & THE HAIR
formerly of
PAPHICS & CINEMA
HERB YERMAN, ESQ. SQUIRE
IMAGE MAKERS SIR OF HOLLYWOOD
HE WOLFMAN INVITES YOU TO BE NATURAL. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE!! GET BACK TO YOUR NATURAL LOOK WITH HAIR SUPPLEMENTS, BLENDED TO BECOME YOUR OWN! RECENT ADVANCEMENTS IN TECHNOLOGIES MAKE YOU COMPLETELY FREE: TO SWIM, SLEEP & LOVE! WRITE OR CALL FOR INFORMATION.
H.E. Wolfman & the Hair Co.
396-3980
P.O. 5925, Santa Monica 90405
PNEWSXAN'S
by Norma Hayes
A "compliment" was told to me recently by a good friend and coworker, who passed it on in a sincere attempt to brighten my day..
My friend had introduced me to a friend of his who was visiting here at the offices of the ADVOCATE. We exchanged "Hi"'s and a pleasantry or so before the two of them went out to lunch. What was later related to me was that the man to whom I'd been introduced asked my friend, "Is she gay?" On being told that I was, he responded, "But she's too pretty to be a dyke!"
I don't doubt that this remark was meant as a compliment to me. Yet my reaction upon hearing it can best be described as dismay. If this man had said, "She's a pretty woman, that would have been flattering to me personally and I'd have liked it. But the comparison that was implicit in his remark was insulting to my gay sistersthe untold numbers of them who are more physically attractive than I, those who have far more outstanding qualities than I will ever possess and all lesbians everywhere who struggle daily to overcome not only society's prejudices but its stereotypes as well.
My friend seemed surprised that I was less than pleased by what he'd told me, and he appeared not to comprehend fully my attempt to explain my somewhat negative response. But since
had encountered this same sort of reaction to my sexuality (based on the same type of "logic") from straight friends and acquaintances, all I could think was, "Oh migod, not you, too!" And in the enlightened atmosphere of America's major gay publication!
NT
The "you" toward whom I direct this lament is any gay man who would have thought the remark "But she's too pretty to be a dyke" unremarkable at least, or complimentary at best. I now know this is not a concept unique to straight people, nor to just these two gay men, because I've since checked it out with other gay male friends, and found that many of them admit to having thought, if not said, much the same thing. And I've had the difficulty trying to communicate to them my frustration when faced with this attitude. There are so many angles from which to approach it!
Initially I took the "too pretty" remark and ran furiously with it, translating it into all that I felt was implied (perhaps subconsciously, but nevertheless. . .): If a woman is pretty, she could have a man; and if she could have a man, why. on earth would she choose another woman?!
All of us have heard the same refrain sung in heterosexualese, where lesbians are often dismissed with such one-liners as, "She'll straighten out in a hurry once the right man comes along," or "What man would want her?"
But perhaps my translation is extreme. Therefore, I'm asking those of you who would be surprised to meet a gay woman that you considered "pretty" to ask yourselves: Do you really believe that a lesbian is a woman who can't get a man? Are you falling thoughtlessly into the stereotyping trap set by "society"? Are you simply unware that the stereotype seldom fits? All of the above?
None of the above? I don't know. What I do know is that categorizing by stereotypes is the easiest way to deal with those about whom we lack knowledge and wish to pretend otherwise. I also know that this method of analysis yields almost unfailingly inaccurate images. I know these things because I've fallen into the same trap countless times myself, no matter whether the victims of my one-sentence critiques may have been "psychiatrists," "the Chinese," "Southern Baptists," "politicians" or "gay men." I suspect we all know, when we really think about it, that there is no one statement (with the possible exception of a Webster-type definition) that is truly applicable to all, or even most, members of any of these or other "groups." Yet we've all generalized in this way at one time or another.
During the past three months, I've had the rare and happy experience of spending a great deal of time with an incredibly diverse group of gay men, and what I've learned in this time is not what gay men are, but rather that there are millions of you out there, each one of whom must be different in some way from the other. And that, even though I've had more opportunity to know "gay men" than most women ever will, what I know compared to all there is to know is virtually nothing. Except that I should bite my tongue if ever again I begin a sentence with, "Gay men are ...." (Which, being quite human and thus prone to falling into subtly set traps, I probably will.) And then perhaps I'll have the insight to pass through my mind's eye the images of gay men I know, until my tongue is healed.
Likewise I can't tell you what gay women are. I wish it were possible for you to know all the les-
bians I know... and then you'd know approximately as much as I know about gay men. Nothing. Except that we come in all sorts of packages, just as you do. Some of us have beautiful souls. Some of us aren't very nice. Some of us have brilliant minds. Some of us are deadly boring. Some of us are fashion models. Some of us drive trucks. Most of us are bits and pieces of all these things and more, and people rarely run screaming for cover at the sight of any of us. I myself don't know even one of us who's decided to be gay because she's too unattractive to be straight. And I can almost guarantee that you know at least one of us who's "too pretty to be a dyke," though you may very well not know she is one.
Now, before I fall off this quite unfamiliar and rather uncomfortable soapbox, I'll ask those of you who've stuck with me this long to do a small experiment: Observe the next ten women you encounter and wonder, "Is she or isn't she?" If you catch yourself coming to any conclusions, take a moment to check out your reasons for reaching them. And if you find that your reasons are based solely on her physical appearance, do her (and yourself) the kindness of allowing some room for doubt. You'll then have made "people liberation" a tiny bit more of a reality than it now is, and we'll all thank you.
Page 32
THE ADVOCATE
May 7, 1975